now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
