she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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