remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
