Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
