..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Randomize
