The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
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Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
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