Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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