sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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