I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
