So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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