It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
