so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
