Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
