I'd wear matching sweaters with you
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize