dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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