my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
