I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
