Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
