you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
