be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize