ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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