We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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