it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
