I CAN MOONWALK!
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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