why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
