Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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