make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
