You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
