One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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