bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
either way he was missing a nipple.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Randomize
