No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
