Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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