My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
