If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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