this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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