I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
