This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
