What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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