Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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