I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
