I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
