Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize