I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
