i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
hell yes lets make some ravioli
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
