Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
