Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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