i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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