You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
