so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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