he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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