Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
