We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
