I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
