you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize