Where did you get a picture of my penis
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
