Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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