Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize