so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
