He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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